Right now, I dont believe this one will work...

So I am, blah blah, negotiating a potential committed relationship with this person

who is:

male
in his early 20ties
singer/songwriter (unpublished) who hopes to "make it in the show business" this year or else stop a) putting this much energy into writing music b) defining as "an artist"
interested in psychoanalysis
out of touch with his nuclear family
which is an upper middle class catholic family
studying film music at college
living in the same dorm as I am
broke
drinking most nights
very outgoing and social
former amateur boxer, now playing a lot of soccer
with a history of: suicide attempt, repeated cocaine intake and being a domestic violence victim
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One thing he said he liked about himself is "sensitivity".
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On more than one occasion he said: "I am 40 percent gay.", "I have homosexual parts." and such. However, the though of butt-fucking (whether passive - cock or toy, or active - boy's ass or girl's) repels him very much.

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When I:

told him about the two girls I loved/dated while I was still in Bratislava
attended the Pride
ask to talk about queerness, sexuality, politics of sex, heteronormativity, gender or his repulsion against anal sex and any other practices different than het intercourse and het oral,

he doesnt respond or keeps it surface/joke-y and moves away from that topic quickly.
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I am interested in him cuz:

he can be very open and there in conversation, is widely in touch with his emotions (yada yada yada)
he attracts me physically, eyes, voice, the way he moves
he is physically available to me and we are energetically compatible (translation: I love to hold his hand/stroke his hair)
bits of his I read as fabulously queer/messy (which for me means a potential space for what I understand as meaningful/liberated conversation/interaction)
we have a special connection and are close friends... (sometimes I think this... other times, I cant even see him or feel seen)
***
ummm... he lets me see a lot of himself... (which makes me, what? feel special?? connected with him??) NOTE TO SELF: the fact that he reveals himself to me doesnt in itself mean that we are in a functional partnership! one-sidedness! I am neither his counselor, nor his fan!
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I believe that these are some of the reasons why he is interested in me:
boobs, face, being feminine
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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When we met 5 months ago, I wore long dreadlocks. Now my hair is very short and dyed yellow. More than once he remarked on my hairstyle, saying "you really should let it grow longer".

Recently he introduced me to 3 of his close female friends/crushes/former girlfriends. I thought Ill die: 3x long brown hair, dark eyes with long lashes, slim, feminine, Alanis Morissette-y.
We share a fascination with Alanis Morissette. Sometimes he affectionately calls me "Alanis" or compares me to her - mostly when I play around with my acoustic guitar or talk philosophy/poetry.

Now that Ive written this, it seems just plain fuckery/objectification. Who the fuck is he seeking/seeing in me?
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Okay, lastly, one thing that I wanted to censor but will now write:
I have a problem with the fact that he generally talks much more than listens
I am not satisfied with the kind/level of emotional support he provides (when I was speaking about eating disorder, derealization, abusive father, lack of financial security, anxiety attacks, etc., and last night about my childhood - poverty, bullying, living at students dorm with my very young parents until I was nearly 7, my grandmothers death-, I was always left wanting more time to speak, more present listening, more hugs). I realize that on occasions I wanted to cry infront him but there was never that kind of space.